There is still this stubborn, giddy feeling inside me
every time I see your name on my phone.
When your eyes meet mine,
when you stop me,
hold my hand,
and kiss me on the forehead…
That heartbeat.
That familiar feeling of being in a safe place.
That longing to be held and held on to a little longer.
For a moment,
I want to freeze time,
linger a little longer
in that same feeling,
that same bond,
that same you and I.
But when we begin to find the words,
when we speak our minds,
that familiar sadness creeps in.
Because once again,
words take part.
They remind us
that we’re no longer the same person,
and between us
are just mountains of “what ifs.”
What if we had wanted the same things?
What if we had grown in the same direction?
What if love had been enough to make us stay?
And perhaps the cruelest “what if”
is the one we never say aloud—
“What if we still love each other,
but can no longer be
the person we need each other to be?”
*image: Morgan Rovang / Unsplash
